Pee on Your Compost

My friend Earl told me years ago that his prospective in-laws, who had never met his parents, came to visit them unexpectedly at their home. The old boy was out, said to be turning over his compost pile, so the enthusiastic visiting mother of the bride to be volunteered to get him and rounded the house to catch him unaware, taking a pee on the compost pile. Since he was an Englishman he raised his hat to her.     What else could he do?
       I was relating this story to my family at dinner as I thought it was funny and the pianist said to me,  "You've never done that have you?" She looked at me through querulous eyes.
        " No. " , I said
        My daughter said, " Yes he does.  I've seen him stand and pee on the compost. "
        You can rarely get away with anything in a family!
        I told this whole story to my friend Ez'.  I included my little exposure from my daughter. I excused the behavior based on the fact that both Earl's father and I lived in a secluded area of Lotus City that was quite private. We were less likely to offend anyone and our compost would be healthier.  On the other hand Ez' lived in a wealthy enclave of Lotus City that was much less secluded.
          I said, " You, on the other hand couldn't get away with it because your properties are more open.  Your neighbors would see you."
         " Yes, " he said, "that may be true, but my neighbors have too much  ' je ne sais quoi ' to say so."
         Touche !