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JIM WARREN

Intimacy

1/26/2020

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The College of Physicians and Surgeons forbids intimate relations with patients on pain of loss of one's licence to practice Medicine. This was stressed in our training for years. At the time of my testing I was a junior intern working  that night on my rotation in the Emergency department of the Vancouver General Hospital. Things had settled down by one am when a cab driver suddenly broke into the room in a panic.
   "I have a woman having a baby in my cab."
   "Well take her to Obstetrics , not here ," said the nurse.
   "She's having it in my cab."
   "Let's go look." I said.
He and I ran down the hall and out to the cab which was still running with the rear door wide open. There she was in the dark, half sitting and half lying on the back seat, panting frantically,wet and sticky from the waist down, dressed in a nighty with one slipper on, looking fearful.
    I said to her," I'm going to feel where the baby is," and crawled into the cab beside her.
    I yelled at the cab driver, " Go to Obstetrics."
The Obstetrical building was across the quadrangle from the Emergency. As I felt the oncoming head under the nighty it was crowning and she had stopped panting.
    "Pant" I said, "Pant and don't push; don't push, just open your mouth and pant."
    "Go to Obstetrics," I said as the cab driver still looked at us.
    "Where?"
     "That building in front of you with the light on that says Obstetrics. Just go straight across."
    "Where do I park?"
    "Don't park. Head for the door."
He started with a lurch and as I looked up, my hand still under the nighty, I saw two small children about two or three ,standing on the seat by their mother, wide eyed and silent, watching me. Then the head started to descend.
    "Pant, stop pushing. Pant"
He  stopped at the door and thank goodness Emergency had called ahead and three people and a gurney were at the door.
    "Keep panting." I said as she carefully slid off the back seat.
    "You can let go now." said the Resident in Obstetrics, "We usually use gloves for that.
    "Resident prick", I thought, "any occasion useful to pontificate.
    As she lay on the gurney I said to her, "Don't worry about your kids."
She put both arms around my neck and gave me a big wet kiss on the mouth and then disappeared into the hall and up the elevator. We had never talked but the connection was real.
     The cab driver said to me, "What about my fare?"
     "What about it? Don't you know how important you were? That seems good enough. And, you can't keep the kids"
I guess I was feeling euphoric about the turn of events and had found an acceptable definition of intimacy in medical practice and it was good.
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    Jim Warren is the author of "An Elderly Eclectic Gentleman" and "A Braided Cord," available on FriesenPress.

    For Jim's past posts, check out his old blog here:
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