Possibly the most read book on the Art of Loving was written by Erich Fromm 60 odd years ago and is still unsurpassed as the most sensible and easily understood concept leading to effective and rewarding relationships. The structure of love based on the four foundational hallmarks of Knowledge, Care, Responsibility and Respect is so self-evident that people who think are amazed at the lack of mystery to it all.
Knowledge means simply the desire to know the object of love in all their aspects in order to meet their needs.
Care means simply to supply those needs to the best off one's ability.
Responsibility means consistent and reliable action towards the loved one, since love is action.
Respect is accepting the unique nature of the love object.
The overpowering sensation of love, never of course to be denied, will only last in its best measure if it develops latterly from the foundational hallmarks That's all there is to it !
However, easier said and done oh man. You still have to manage to sort out your own path, wending through the wreckage of your brain trash that has accumulated over the years that you piled up and accumulated to protect yourself. You have to learn, as in any other skill you might develop, however imperfectly.
I used to think that this was far too rational approach to love : a left brain context and purely mechanical, lacking what we called romance. Let it be known now that love is learned. There is nothing wrong with rational. We weren't given a brain for nothing.
Knowledge means simply the desire to know the object of love in all their aspects in order to meet their needs.
Care means simply to supply those needs to the best off one's ability.
Responsibility means consistent and reliable action towards the loved one, since love is action.
Respect is accepting the unique nature of the love object.
The overpowering sensation of love, never of course to be denied, will only last in its best measure if it develops latterly from the foundational hallmarks That's all there is to it !
However, easier said and done oh man. You still have to manage to sort out your own path, wending through the wreckage of your brain trash that has accumulated over the years that you piled up and accumulated to protect yourself. You have to learn, as in any other skill you might develop, however imperfectly.
I used to think that this was far too rational approach to love : a left brain context and purely mechanical, lacking what we called romance. Let it be known now that love is learned. There is nothing wrong with rational. We weren't given a brain for nothing.
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